My goal was to get this written out before Gwen turned two months old. Glad I made my own deadline! It has been a whirlwind of emotion so far this year of 2016 for me. Our world completely changed when this 8lb 10oz cutie patootie arrived!

I wanted to try and share a little about Gwen’s birth story yet I want to keep it simple because sometimes I feel that birth stories are a little tmi haha!

Let me just start off my saying, Gwen has completely changed my life and I couldn’t imagine life without her now. My perspective on eternity has changed, my perspective on stillness before the Lord has changed, my perspective on priorities has changed. A friend told me that she feared leaving her normal life behind and starting something new with a baby would be scary. I too was scared to leave one chapter and begin another. But now I’ve fallen in love with the “new normal.”

The story of how Gwen entered the world is a quick one. I got up to pee (for the umpteenth time that night) around 5 in the morning. I just didn’t feel right and kept second guessing myself. I was 4 days overdue and my midwife kept telling me I could go 2 weeks late, so I wasn’t exactly thinking okay today is the day. So for about an hour I tried to sleep but then thought it was wise to wake up Scott so he could call off work. I thought it would be better for him to give a heads up to his boss instead of leaving for work then to have to turn around and come home. So 6:15 I wake Scott up and said, “I think today is the day. I’m gonna take a shower and finish packing.” Mostly I just felt uncomfortable and wasn’t sure how to make myself feel better but I kept reminding myself of what my midwife told me — don’t panic, take your time, take a shower, relax…this part of labor is the longest for new moms. Before I jumped in the shower I called my mom since she had an hour or so drive ahead of her. She was almost about to leave for work so I caught her at a good time too! Scott called his mom too to figure out who was getting Reggie and what not. That changed later because things escalated very quickly. Basically his second call to his mom said nevermind just come to the hospital NOW.

So about 7:30 I call my midwife. I was told to wait until contractions were 5 mins apart for a whole hour. I don’t remember exactly and it was so hard to track them because I just felt pain the entire time. Her words made me feel better plus she said if you’d rather go to the hospital to find out where you are, then go and they’ll call me. So I hung up the phone and told Scott I would try and make it to 8:00 and we could go. Well then minutes later I’m in our living room on all fours, trying to sit on the exercise ball, walking outside on the deck because it was cold outside and I was burning up. Anything to get myself to calm down and tame this uncomfortableness. This is where it gets a little blurry for me because I didn’t make it to 8:00. I just wanted to get to the hospital and see how many centimeters I was so I at least could focus on something. Looking back to that day, the car ride was the worst part of the morning. The pain was beyond control and I remember just grunting/yelling at every contraction. Sitting upright in a car is not exactly the best when you’re having a contraction. My water broke in the car and we realized it once Scott helped me out of the car. And no it didn’t gush like in the movies and no my car was not a mess. 😉

Up the elevator and into the delivery room, the process began. My mom was there already which helped because the nurses were asking so many questions and I apparently wasn’t coherent enough to answer. At this point I had already made up my mind that I wanted an epidural. I so badly wanted to have a natural birth but I thought that if the pain was this bad and this was considered “early labor,” then there was no way I could handle the rest of the process. In my inexperienced mind I thought I was at 3 or 4 cm. The OB on the floor came in to check me since my midwife wasn’t there.  I remember this part of the story because I still can’t believe it. It was like a scene in a movie when the music stops, the camera zooms in and focuses only on my face. The OB says, “She’s at 9cm…” I sit up in the bed and scream “NINE!!” I was so happy and so mad all at the same time. 9cm meant that it was almost over. 9cm also meant that the epidural was not happening. I just remember my mom leaning in and saying in the nicest, motherly way possible, “Lindsey honey, you’re not gonna get the shot…”

So the story continues! Scott was very helpful and I am so thankful he was by my side and didn’t make me worry. Everything happened so fast that he really didn’t know what else to do other than say the right things and rub my back between contractions. I remember hoping that he was okay while everything was happening but I’m sure his side of the story is different. My mom’s presence was very helpful too. She patiently placed ice chips in my mouth when I demanded and made sure I was comfortable. Ask her how I was sitting on the bed and you’ll understand.

With a total of 45 mins at the hospital and 4 hours of labor total, Gwen arrived at 9:16am on Tuesday, January 26th. My midwife was so surprised how far along I was when she got there and she was so calm which helped me a lot. She didn’t direct me or coach me. She just let my instincts take over and let my body do what it was made to do. I pushed when I felt ready and Gwen was here! I don’t remember my midwife announcing if it was a boy or girl but I held Gwen on my chest, checked her bottom half and screamed “It’s a girl!!” What a moment! And instantly I forgot the pain! I played that moment in my head, imagining what it would be like, and nothing compares to that experience. We were overjoyed and I can’t explain it but every mother understands it. As for that head of hair…gahhh I was so excited she had hair! The last month of heartburn was so worth it!

The rest of our hospital stay was wonderful and I can’t say enough good things about my midwife and the hospital staff at Northside Medical Center. All of the nurses were so wonderful and made sure I knew how cute Gwen was. I’m glad that we ended up at the hospital instead of the birthing center. I wanted to have her at the birthing center but insurance just wouldn’t cover it. With my postpartum experience I’m glad we were at Northside. I ended up passing out twice, once on a nurse and once on my mom. That part I really don’t remember because I blacked out haha! We all decided it was because everything happened so fast and my body was having a hard time catching up.

So pictures…where does a photog mom begin?! I’ve had so much fun with my cameras and I’m sure I’ll have to buy a separate external hard drive for documenting her life. But I’ve also enjoyed being in the moment and knowing those moments are only shared between me and her. It’s amazing to watch Scott with her and witness the awesomeness of how God designed family. I tried to narrow down sharing pictures because how much is too much? Not sure but I had a ton of fun doing Gwen’s newborn photos. There are a bunch of pictures of friends & family holding Gwen as well….including great-grandparents! Also, hop on over to Lindsay Delisio’s blog to view a few momma project photos she took of Gwen and I. I am SO in LOVE with them!

I’m so grateful God chose us to be Gwen’s parents. The days go quickly and the nights are a blur. I get emotional when I think about how fast every day goes and I wish that time would stop. But I also get excited when I think about who Gwen will become, what she’ll look like at different ages and the adventures we’ll go on together (although Kenya is hard to beat)! Thank you to everyone that sent love, diapers, gifts, money and snuggles! We couldn’t have done it without your prayers & support! If you ever need a Gwen snuggle, just give me a call.