For the past few weeks I couldn’t decide how I felt about this issue or how to explain it well to others. I finally realized that the best way to get my point across was to educate my brides. This is something that’s important to me but I’m not going to get in your face about it on your wedding day. Because first of all that’s rude, it’s your day not mine…and it’s unprofessional. So this post isn’t a post about you agreeing with me. It’s post to educate you about how I feel and wish every couple would strive to understand.
For the ceremony…
Ask your guests to put away their phones for the ceremony. Ask them to enjoy being in the moment and watch the two of you get married with their own eyes and not through their iPhone camera. You hire professionals for a reason! Let me handle the pictures and then your aisles won’t be flooded with phones, but flooded with warm smiles and happy tears. There are times that I have to step around, go under, go over, you name it, around guests to avoid getting them in the picture. And sometimes it’s impossible so your entire ceremony has pictures of someone “in the way.” Trust me when I say that your guests will not mind. No one will make a fuss and they will respect your wishes because they love you. My advice would be to ask the officiant, pastor or priest to make a brief announcement before the ceremony begins. This takes the pressure off of anyone in the family having to say something. You could also include a little tag in your wedding program about it.
For the bridal portraits…
This. Please don’t do this. Or tell your friends to do this. I understand that you want instantaneous pictures on your phone of everyone having fun. I get it. Most of the time I’m completely okay with grabbing your phones and taking a few shots for you. But please don’t have someone tag along and grab every shot I’m grabbing RIGHT NEXT to my camera. It’s not because he’s grabbing the same pictures as me, it’s because it interrupts my creative drive. It distracts me and intimidates me. This makes me feel like you don’t trust me to get the photographs you dreamt about having from your wedding day. Imagine yourself doing your profession and having someone right next to you the entire day. Doesn’t sound pleasant does it?
When this happens, and it will continue, I want you to know that I won’t say anything, but it will affect how the portraits will go whether I want it to or not. You and your friends will be together all day and it is impossible for me to grab every moment of the day. You invited your friends to be a part of your day for a reason! You want to make memories with them and capture those moments so I completely get it! I was a bride once. Some of my favorite pictures are from my friend’s cell phone from our wedding day. But we let our photographer get the bridal pictures on her camera, not our phones (although, not everyone had a smart phone 4 years ago…that’s crazy to think about).
The bride and groom have paid me thousands of dollars to take pictures of their wedding day. At the very least, let me handle the portrait time that happens after the ceremony. The photos that will be printed and mounted on the wall are the photos that I take, not the iPhone pictures. This not only interrupts the flow of portrait time but it also confuses the party on where to look. When I have 14 people to pose, I don’t want to worry about where they are looking whether it be at my camera or a few iPhones next to me.
Do I wish that every ceremony could be unplugged and every portrait time would go perfectly smooth with great lighting and great timing? Of course! But I know that most importantly, it is your decision what happens during your wedding and I will respect that. As a professional, I choose to share my opinion on the matter and you can freely decide what you’d like to do. I am there to guide you and direct you.
All of my brides are wonderful and every wedding is unique and fun in it’s own way. Things like this will not discourage me to stop what I love to do. I have seen so many similar posts from other photographers about this issue so I think the more exposure to the matter will help educate future brides and grooms.
…and she steps off her soap box.